{"id":70,"date":"2005-04-08T17:06:29","date_gmt":"2005-04-09T00:06:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/?p=70"},"modified":"2005-04-08T17:06:29","modified_gmt":"2005-04-09T00:06:29","slug":"humor-the-guys-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/?p=70","title":{"rendered":"Humor: The Guy&#8217;s Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s an email forward that I got recently, and I figured that, rather than spamming people, I&#8217;d post it here.  It&#8217;s worth a chuckle or two. <\/p>\n<p>&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.<br \/>\nFinally, the guys&#8217; side of the story.<br \/>\nI must admit,  it&#8217;s pretty good.<br \/>\nWe always hear &#8220;the rules&#8221;; from the female side.<br \/>\nNow here are the rules from the male side.<br \/>\nThese are their rules!<br \/>\nPlease note&#8230; these are all numbered &#8220;1&#8221;;<br \/>\nON PURPOSE! <\/p>\n<p>    1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.  You&#8217;re a big girl.  If it&#8217;s up,<br \/>\n    put it down.  We need it up, you need it down.<br \/>\n    You don&#8217;t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Sunday sports. It&#8217;s like the full moon or the changing<br \/>\n    of the tides.  Let it be. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.<br \/>\n    And no, we are never going to think of it that way. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Crying is blackmail. <\/p>\n<p>    1.  Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one:<br \/>\n        Subtle hints do not work!<br \/>\n        Strong hints do not work!<br \/>\n        Obvious hints do not work!<br \/>\n        Just say it! <\/p>\n<p>    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost<br \/>\n    every question. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.<br \/>\n    That&#8217;s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. <\/p>\n<p>    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.<br \/>\n    See a doctor. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Anything we said 6 months ago, it is inadmissible in an<br \/>\n    argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. <\/p>\n<p>    1. If you won&#8217;t dress like th! e Victor ia&#8217;s Secret girls, don&#8217;t<br \/>\n    expect us to act like soap opera guys. <\/p>\n<p>    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one<br \/>\n    of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. <\/p>\n<p>    1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it  done.  Not both.<br \/>\n    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.<\/p>\n<p>    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say<br \/>\n    during commercials. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and<br \/>\n    neither do we. <\/p>\n<p>    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.<br \/>\n    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is. <\/p>\n<p>    1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.  We do that. <\/p>\n<p>    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say quote, &#8220;nothing&#8221;,  We will<br \/>\n    act like nothing&#8217;s wrong.<br \/>\n    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. <\/p>\n<p>    1. If you ask a question you don&#8217;t want an answer to,<br \/>\n    expect an answer you don&#8217;t want to hear. <\/p>\n<p>    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you<br \/>\n    wear Is fine&#8230;Really. <\/p>\n<p>    1. Don&#8217;t ask us what we&#8217;re thinking about unless you are  prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun<br \/>\n    formation, or golf.<\/p>\n<p>    1. You have enough clothes. <\/p>\n<p>    1. You have too many shoes. <\/p>\n<p>    1. I am in ! shape. Round IS a shape! <\/p>\n<p>    1. Thank you for reading this.<br \/>\n    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; <\/p>\n<p>    But did you know men really don&#8217;t mind that? It&#8217;s like camping. <\/p>\n<p>    Pass this to as many men as you can &#8211; to give them a laugh. <\/p>\n<p>    Pass this to as many women as you can &#8211; to give them a bigger laugh .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s an email forward that I got recently, and I figured that, rather than spamming people, I&#8217;d post it here. It&#8217;s worth a chuckle or two. &#8212;- At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/?p=70\">Read more &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=70"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=70"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=70"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilyness.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=70"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}